U ever put fruit slices in ur beer? “Once- *Jerry Seinfeld busts in* “ONCE *tosses barstool* IN A *glasses shatter* BLUE MOON *jazz hands*
Trying to give my boy Tobias some work
[12 year old kid from the 50s who plays baseball voice] why i oughta
side effects of heelys may include: too many bitches, an overdose of swag, blow jobs in ur free time, and in some cases.. death (by handjob)
(Reblogged from tylerthatnerdguy)
(Source: trustothers)
how dare u ignore me after ive made 0 attempts at talking to u
hey lil mama lemme whispa in yo ear
(Source: aintnopartylikealizparty)
did you hear about the italian chef who died?
he pasta way
he just ran out of thyme
here today, gone tomato
his wife is still upset, cheese still not over it
we never sausage a tragedy coming
ashes to ashes, crust to crust
there’s just not mushroom for italian chefs in today’s world
Man in Eugene, Oregon screams about his nutsack for 30 years.
(Reblogged from penissauce)
